Thursday, June 5, 2008

Mean Streak

As we all know, cigarette smokers exist in a constant grey haze, and thus have no judgment. Once engaged in their torrid ritual, they are completely oblivious to the monetary and personal costs of smoking.

Which is why I'm so grateful when people on the street tell me about the new price of cigarettes.

Since, of course, the point of all conversation is to connect and identify with people, I generally respond something like this;

Old man on park bench: "Hey! You know- they raised the tax, and its ten dollars a pack now!"

Girl smoking a cigarette: "Woah. Really? That's so terrible".

Old Man: "Uh, you know, you'd better- "

Girl: "-God, I am so sorry for you sir. That's such a terrible price!"

Old Man: "Sure it is!"

Girl: "Yeah, it must be horrible to pay that much! You must feel awful- I'm so sorry." (really sad, sympathetic, exaggerated look)

Old Man: "Wait..wha? No I'm confused..."

Girl: "Have a nice day, sir!"

Old Man:"huh?" (blubbers, stares).

I enjoy this a lot. Hopefully this sort of behavior will discourage the Old-Man-Anti-Smoking- Brigade.
Though honestly, that's not why I like it.

It's not very nice.

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