Dear Mr. Rubino,
Thank you very much for your hospitality last Friday. It was most kind of you to host our event on such short notice, and all of us have agreed to express, emphatically, our appreciation.
I’m sure you’ll agree that the night was a tremendous success, despite our rather unconventional entrance by rooftop. I assure you our agency will be reimburse you for the damages done to your fire escape, which was quite rusty and - to the best of my recollection- might now be missing a few rungs. Our lead drummer is still pleasantly surprised by such a warm welcome, which, he adds, was quite a relief after the bouncer’s coolness and the icy stares of the cops nearby!
Our band would also like to extend their gratitude towards all your staff; particularly two tall brunette waitresses; Beth, I think, and Carrie. We were all impressed how efficiently they escorted us to the back room, and a few of us insist that they merit some recognition for these efforts.
Additionally, we are all appreciative of the delicious drinks Carrie mixed at the bar, and the complimentary liquor Beth brought from the cellar. Amy thought the pineapple rum, vodka tonic and gin julep were all fantastic, and adds that while she didn’t know that charming young man was your son, she hopes he’ll still join her at Chelsea’s Whip Festival tomorrow.
I hope that we haven’t understated our gratitude, but just in case, we also left a few stacks of flyers from our band in your bathroom, and spruced up the left wall, whose paint was peeling. My friend Miles Cores, who hosts the popular liberal talk show The No Judge Zone’, would like to add that he found your patrons extremely interesting, fascinating and beautiful. He strongly encourages them all to appear on his show, which is highly selective and accepts only 10% of all applicants. He’s gone through the trouble of replacing your coasters with mail-in reply cards, and I hope you don’t mind.
He tried to ask beforehand, of course, but you were too busy consoling the righteous anger of our friend Bevan.
Once again, I thank you for your service, attention and understanding, and I look forward to doing business with you in the future.
Eternally yours, and indebted,
Simona Marie Asinovski
agent & compère
89-91 E 2nd St, #11
New York, NY 10009