"Dude, I fucking screamed!”
“I screamed like a fucking bitch!”
“I liked it.”
She's telling this story for what's got to be the fifth time tonight. Haunted housebreak- "White Ninja". (Even the police are scared to go there, she brags). Would I like to go? Of course, I say, why the hell not?
We turn into a tiny dirt road, Ash switching gears as she clonks into the mud.
"Oh, fuck…uangh, my poor car..Ash, I'll kill you if-"
“Shut up, I’m trying to listen”
"I didn’t know this was a swamp”
"Just this part, and shhh...hold on a second....
Are you scared yet? (she asks)
"No", flat. How I wish it was boldness not boredom. Adrenaline cravings creeping down my neck, tensing my shoulders and erving my hands. Pointless Rest dulls muscles, and, sensing lack ahead (why isn't anything new happening?), I fall back upon that sad little storage of life somewhere in creative memory- restoring bits of comfort with expansion, and the craving turns from just anything to.....
“Woah” I politely gasp. Dark little shacked set, shielded by marsh with grass by the meter. Standard tensions- boarded up windows, red graffitti and gaping holes marking the break-ins. Ash turns off the car.
“White Ninja.” She announces. “ God, we trashed this shit. These were brand new when we found them. I need to have a party here before I leave. Coming in?”Kelly stays in the car while we take out our cell phones for light. "Do you have my keys?" I ask, "There's a little knife attached". Ash laughs.
No one's going to jump you- which isn't so certain when you enter a dead dark building littered with breaks. Corners unknown till lumed plastic proves innocence- in a "haunted killer" house, you're looking for dead bodies, no matter what, you just know you are.
It's a lot creepier than I expected, which is good because it makes me nervous. Ash checks each room, boarded up closet. She gives one closed door a funny look and kicks it, and...
"Dude, I fucking screamed! Did you hear me scream?" she asks Kelly.
"I heard something..." quips Kel.
"It was hilarious," I say, "It really was...and the best part was I got scared so I grabbed Ash from behind, to, like, hug her or something. But I've got a knife in my right hand so I ended up holding a knife to her throat...not exactly comforting, right", laugh.
"But I fucking screamed! Because some creepy stuff's happened in that room, so when the door bounced back at me...my voice was SO high, I screamed like a girl!"
"What did you expect?" I'm in a good mood now, "I'm glad though, it scared me wicked bad".
Every time we recount this story (far too many, and with elaboration until it's five times the thrills and lenght of the event), I make it sound like the funniest part was me holding a knife to Ashley's throat, and Ashley makes it sound like the funniest part was her scream. And it will always be that way- a reason I "damn fuckin' love her", too.
She doesn't tell us the story of "White Ninja" (which you've all heard in some form of another, probably at a camp of some sorts at some point in time) until we leave the area (too scared)
"So.....has anything happened?" asked Kelly.
"What?" asks Ash.
"Like, has anything actually happened...anything bad, like", she shook,
"Fucking shit," threw Ash, "We’ve had doors boarded up, glass breaking, people have disappeared and we dont know if they left the state or something....once we were all upstairs-"
"She means no," I chum in.
"We were all upstairs," (she ignores my charming contempt) ,"...and I mean, all of us, no one was downstairs- and we went downstairs and this room- that was totally open- was fuckin boarded up..like who was there, right? there was no one!"
"So no." I conclude, and pull out my laptop to write this down, free with my old friend driving my car.